I wrote this yesterday morning (16/10/2010). Actually i drafted it in my mobile(not really mine, Nirmal's) and saved it in drafts folder. Now after having got out of that mindset i feel i should share it with you guys. And I gotta tell you I wasn't drunk. I don't drink :D. Now, read on.
The sole purpose for me to live is the responsibility of looking after my parents. I don't find anything else that can be considered as a reason for me to live. This doesn't, in any sense, means that I am going to die, I am not, and I won't kill myself. I don't appreciate people killing themselves much. Taking birth was not our choice so dying should also not be. Is my love a reason for me to live? I don't know. I love her, I really do. Whether she has become a reason for me to live or not is still a perplexing question for me, well she can be a reason or even THE reason.
Isn't it such a pity for a man of 25 years of experience in the hustle and bustle of this world to not know what he really wants from life or what he should become in life? I feel admiration for those who say they want to be x or y in their life, for them half of the work is done. Its not that I believe everyone who says so has found their true interest and passion or like philosophers say 'identified the inner call', only half of them have. Other half is misled by either themselves or the influential surroundings. I know this half is worse than me because they have embarked on a journey in wrong direction and only at the end of the journey they'll know that they have struggled very hard only to end up at wrong destination. For me, I haven't even started my journey. I am moving according to the flow searching for the right pier.
Isn't looking after parents good enough a reason for a person to live? Hasn't it been the sole reason for majority of the population so far to live? On course they’ll have their own partner and kids to look after too. Isn't this a reason for anyone to fight a living for? Why do people get married? Is it for sex alone? Why do people have kids? Is it because it has been so ever since the very beginning of life? I don't know. I don't think many people get married because they really want to but because they really have to. Either the pressure from parents and relatives or the insecure feeling from inside because all of their friends have got married and they all seem to be happy at least outside or because of the thought that they may be known as not worthy enough a person for others to find a husband or wife in them. I find all these reasons equally compelling to make us believe that we should get married and have a so called normal life. But why doesn't anyone do something of such an importance because they really want to, instead of doing it because this is believed to be normal and people have been doing it ever since the beginning. Oh.. One more reason is there. You want someone to look after you once you become old. By becoming old I mean you no longer are capable of doing things, that need to be done to keep you alive, on your own. Many believe becoming old means you no longer have any purpose to live for. Isn’t it the same situation we are in now? Aren’t we all old if that is the case?
It has been said that if you can learn from other people's experience you can conquer heights, the same reason we learn not to touch fire because we know it hurts not necessarily because we have felt the pain touching fire ourselves. In the same line if majority of the population who have spent more than decades here in this world feel their lives have got them nothing they really wanted, why would we take ourselves through the pain to have the same vain feeling, after spending most of our time and energy on good for nothing reasons. I don't know. And I suppose many don't know. Yet people live. That’s the magic of life.
